Weak
by xfileslover
Summary: Scully tells Mulder what her Love life was like before she met him. Scully pov most of the story. :


_**Disclaimer: I do not own the x-files. Darn**_

_**Spoilers: None**_

**_Summery: Scully tells Mulder of the days where she wasn't in love, where her luck with men was the same as his luck when it came to finding Samantha. Then how her life changes when she meets him. MSR all the way._**

**7 years ago…**

**Scully's pov**

Why can't my life be like one of those television shows? Where everything is perfect and nothing goes wrong. Where once your in love you never fall out of it.

My life isn't anything how I planned it to be. I figured that I would be married and have kids, maybe even be a soccer mom. Not slaving away as an MD. Dealing with dead bodies and immature kids who don't know what they are doing.

As I work on putting my findings of the death of a 35 year old woman, I wonder if she ever loved. Did she have a caring husband and kids? This is what I do; I ask my self if these people have had better love lives than me.

Sure I have had my far share of men, but there all the same. They like me when they met me and then they learn about me and the leave. It's as if I am being kicked in the ribs over and over again.

I have yet to find Mr. Right. You know the man that makes you weak in the knees and you fall in love head over heels. Will I ever find him?

Or will the rest of my life consist of opening bodies and having a few dates here and there. I know that I am an attractive woman but I mean what am I supposed do. I am not going to change myself to please a man if he doesn't like me for me than my time is not worth wasting.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by my office phone ringing.

"Dana Scully speaking."

"Yes sir, yes I no."

"You're doing what?"

"But how so fast?"

"Yes Sir I can be out by tomorrow, and yes I no how to get the Hoover building, thank you."

Maybe this is what I needed. A new job that will take me to bigger and better places. But why the x-files? Why would I be needed there? And do I really want to work with agent Mulder?

I can answer most of these questions with a yes. I want to work with him. This would be a man that I can be free with a man that I don't have to change for because I know damn well he won't change for me. This is the perfect opportunity for me to start over.

I start packing my things, leaving the reports out for the next head MD and I push the woman body back into the freezer. I hate giving up this job because it does give me a sense of power but I guess it is for the best. I guess I will just have to work up a reputation there as I did here.

I look around my old office one last time making sure that I didn't miss anything and I head out to my car.

That night I am unable to sleep. The love thing is running through my mind again. Maybe it is me and maybe I should be someone else, but if I did that then I would be cheating myself. It's like this every night. I lay in my bed and think of all the ways that I could be better. Maybe different lifestyles, new personality. I always put myself down in order to make the reason why men up and leave me hurt less.

I look down at my hands, there small but they can do so much. They can do everything but love. They can write, cook, do autopsy's, save a life, but not love.

No matter how hard I try my life will be full of regrets.

That's how I fall asleep. I think of my life and it's like a lullaby, no action no adventure. Just a gentle song that makes you want to go to sleep.

As my alarm clock goes off I realize that today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am so happy. I find my nicest suit. My favorite shoes and I head off to take my morning shower.

As I get dressed I realize that I haven't been this happy since the last day of high school were I graduated valedictorian.

I grab my stuff and I head out to my car. I drove in silence the whole way; once again my mid floats back to that love thing. I think that maybe I will find the man that my heart truly desires in this new line of work.

As I pull up to the building and into the parking garage I feel a warm sensation spread over me as if this is where I was truly meant to be.

I walk to the elevator and hit the button to the third floor. I was supposed to meet my new supervisor a Walter Skinner. To me his name even sounded scary. My heart was beating so fast that when a man from a lab room stuck his head out I thought that he could hear it. I blushed and I kept walking.

As I made it to my destination I was having second thoughts. I almost turned around and ran out but before I could make my decision a bald man with glasses walks out.

"Can I presume that you are Dana Scully?"

I shake my head up and down unable to say anything. He waves me into the office and I make my way in there.

"Well there are a couple of things that you need before you can start. You will need to get a gun, your photo ID and then I will let you go and get settled in with your partner."

He directs me to the places that I need to get these things done. I am so scared that I am going to forget how to use a gun and everything else that I was taught. So I have my picture taken and as I am waiting to get my badge, my mind starts wondering again.

He has no pictures of kids, family he has no ring. Does he have a girlfriend? Or is he single. I can't tell if he is a happy man or a lonely man. Sometimes I would peak at him and even catch him looking at me. So then I think, yep he I like me single, lonely, and probably leads a boring life.

As I put my badge and gun away I start for the basement. My mind is on one track. What will this man be like, is he a jerk, is he kind, is he obsessed with his work, does he live with his mom, and the biggest thing, is he married have a girl friend, or his he lonely. That's what I did the whole way down to the basement, the basement that I would soon come to have a love hate relationship with.

I knock on the door and I hear the most famous saying that I have ever heard, "nobody down here except for the FBI's most unwanted."

I smile at the humor and open the door. Before I look at the owner of the place I am standing in.

It's covered in posters and weird things. There was absolutely no clean space on his desk. I look around and my eyes fall on the owner.

And that's when I felt it. My knees gave out and the man in front of me dove to my rescue. Okay so yeah maybe he didn't dive but he did catch me.

"Are you okay?" all I could do was stare into his eyes. Deep brown eyes that held so may untold truths.

Finally I was able to get to myself under control.

"I am so sorry; I have no idea where that came from."

He looked at me and smiled and there went my knees again. But this time he didn't have to do a whole lot since he hadn't even released me yet.

I sat down in the chair that he offered and I tried to think of an excuse on why I kept falling but my mind wouldn't let me.

"Well I am pretty sure that you are Scully, and I know that you know that I am Mulder, so I guess I should welcome you to the place you don't want to be."

I smiled once again at his humor, there was something about this man that was different from all of the others, and I just couldn't figure it out.

So over the years we became closer that a husband and wife would get. We new each other inside and out. Right side up and upside down. We were able to overcome so many things and still be professional. But the moment when our lips touched on the beginning of the New Year I knew that he was meant for me. I new I was in love with him, but at that moment I new that it was real. And when he said that the world didn't end I knew that he felt the same for me.

Then we had to run for our lives, but the best thing about it all was that I didn't have that nagging little voice in the back of my head asking me if I could have a better life.

**Present time…**

I sat there in my white pajamas lying on a bed with Mulder sitting on the floor in front of me.

"So Scully that's what your life was like before you met me. Wow I figured you led a nice enjoyable life."

"Mulder lay down and shut up, and it's your turn to tell me what your life was like before you met me, and don't give me none of that crap about 'oh I went to college and I was a good boy'!"

He climbed up in bed and whispered in my ear.

"That Dana Scully is a whole other story."

I smiled and closed my eyes.

**I have no idea why I wrote this, but I hope that you guys think that it is okay you don't even have to like it but you can hate it… Please review and tell me what you think!**

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